Life After Caregiving: Reconstructing Sharon

After eleven years as the sole caregiver for her mom living with young‑onset dementia, Sharon Davis wasn’t prepared for the grief, anger, and loss that followed her mother’s passing. Holidays lost their sparkle, her faith felt fractured, and life paused as she stepped back from work and withdrew - unsure how to move forward in a life no longer defined by caregiving.

Healing felt distant — until an unexpected and unconventional opportunity appeared. It was surprising and exactly what she needed. That experience became the spark that nudged her forward, kick-started her healing, and helped her rediscover herself.

Today, she’s rebuilt her life with purpose. A new home. A new job. A new love. And a renewed mission. Sharon now advocates for caregivers, offers training and guidance, spots those who may quietly be carrying the weight she once knew, and connects them to the resources that can lighten their load. Her path even led her to work in finance as a consultant — empowering caregivers and others to navigate the practical side of life with confidence.

This podcast shares her story of reconstruction — the raw moments, the unexpected detours, and the powerful transformation that followed. It’s a space for caregivers, former caregivers, and anyone searching for their “new me.” A reminder that healing isn’t linear, that support matters and can show up in unexpected ways, and that life after caregiving can be reconstructed with intention, courage, and a renewed sense of possibility.

If you wish to contact Sharon her email is AlzforMom@gmail.com

(Thank you to Pixabay Folk Acoustic Guitar 138361)

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Thank you for tuning in to the Island Treasures podcast. We value the insights shared by our guests and hosts. But it's important to note that their personal experiences are intended to inform and encourage, and not to replace professional, legal, or medical advice. With that, we are ready for today's exciting episode. Hello and welcome to Island Treasures Podcast. We're entering a new season with a new direction. For years, we've walked alongside caregivers in the midst of their caregiving journey, offering resources, support, encouragement, and community. Now as we shift our focus, we'll be exploring what comes after caregiving. I'm your host, Alison van Schie, inviting you into conversations with former caregivers. Each episode features honest reflections on what comes next, stories of resilience, renewal, and rediscovery. And since the podcast comes to you from Vancouver Island in Canada, you'll hear the occasional episode that explores a different kind of treasure, local places and experiences that make the island itself something special. Whether you're navigating life after caregiving or simply curious about the treasures held within Vancouver Island, I'm glad you're here. Let's explore new treasures together. My guest today takes us into the heart of what it really means to rebuild a life after caregiving. For over 11 years, she was the sole caregiver for her mom who was diagnosed with young onset dementia. What began with managing finances slowly became a full-time, all-consuming caregiver role, 24-7, one that overshadowed her identity and weighed her down with stress. After her mom passed away, she found herself rustling with anger, jealousy, grief, and depression. She was so depleted that even getting out of bed felt impossible. But then a unique and unexpected opportunity sparked the shift she desperately needed, opening the door to a new chapter. And now there's no stopping her. So let's not wait another moment. Join me now as I welcome Sharon Davis. So I'm here today with Sharon Davis. Welcome, Sharon. I'm delighted to have you as a guest on the Island Treasures podcast. Thank you. I'm happy to be here with you too. Yeah, and it's really cool how you reached out and uh responded to one of my posts on Instagram, and that's how we connected. And um, and here you are. Yes. So you're willing to talk about life after caregiving, and I understand that you've uh been doing some reflecting on on your life since you were caregiving. So let's let's start briefly with a recap of what your caregiving life looks like.

Speaker 2 3:28

Okay. Yes. Um my mother was diagnosed with early onset dementia. So I spent most of my 40s taking care of her, late 30s, most of my 40s, and into my 50s. Uh and basically when she first started, it was easy to adjust with certain things because she had autonomy. And then as the disease progressed, I ended up noticing uh less people willing to help me with her care. So basically, I've taken the role as her sole caregiver, but I made sure that she was comfortable, clean, and always laughing. She enjoyed herself. I love seeing her smile because then I know it was all worth it. Even though I was stressed, I see she didn't see the stress. So she helped make my journey rewarding.

Speaker 1 4:27

Yeah, that smile means everything, doesn't it? I'm really motivated by people's smiles. It's a communication tool that I really enjoy. So it's nice she could smile and tell you that she appreciated you that way.

Speaker 2 4:42

Yes. She forgot some of her children's name, but she never forgot my name.

Speaker 1 4:47

Yay!

Speaker 2 4:48

I loved it.

Speaker 1 4:49

That and a smile. Yeah. So in total, how many years do you think you were caregiving for her?

Speaker 2 4:59

Uh approximately 11 years.

Speaker 1 5:01

Yeah, it's long.

Speaker 2 5:03

Yes. I should say when she was diagnosed with early onset, I didn't take on a full caregiver role. I just took over her finances and made sure she was good. But yeah, it was approximately 11 years. And my grandmother was a my rock, she helped me out, and my aunt La Greta helped me out a lot too. But then grandma had a stroke, and my aunt Greta uh moved to Arizona, so that's yes.

Speaker 1 5:36

So your grandmother, she saw what you were doing as caregiver for your mom, her daughter. Yes. And then she had a stroke.

Speaker 2 5:47

Yes. She had her own health issues, and she helped me so I could go to work. Um, transportation from the daycare would send my mom to my grandmother's house, and my grandmother would make sure she was fed and kept her company until I got off work and I could get her. And that was earlier on. So when my grandmother had a stroke, um, it was more because of her habits and health issues.

Speaker 1 6:14

So where I was going with this is that she saw her daughter with early onset dementia, and she saw her granddaughter stepping up and being the caregiver. I I think that's quite beautiful, but it would have been really hard for her as the mother to see that.

Speaker 2 6:36

Yes. And now that you put it, I see I didn't think of it that way, but now that you put it that way, that makes kind of sense for me for why my grandmother was so willing and helpful when I needed help.

Speaker 1 6:51

Yeah. That's a unique story. It's a unique dynamic for me to hear that. So yeah, thank you for sharing that. Oh, you're welcome.

Speaker 2 7:02

I've I'm learning with my caregiver support groups that I've been throughout my journey that everyone have a unique situation, but the story still is the same.

Speaker 1 7:14

Yeah, there's such a common thread. Yes. The experience is hard. That part's the same. Yes. Lots of variables. When your mom passed away, how many years ago was that now?

Speaker 2 7:30

It's been four years. August the 20th will make five or something.

Speaker 1 7:39

So once she passed away, share with the listeners and me how you transitioned from your hands-on caregiving role for your mom. Complicated with the grief that you were feeling and the loss of that relationship. Um, how how you transitioned from that role?

Speaker 2 8:01

Well, the first few months when my mother passed, I will admit I was very, very angry. I was also jealous of seeing people with their mothers and their interactions and going out seeing them love on their moms. I I hated it. I was off Facebook for a while, Instagram, because I just didn't want to see it. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to shower. I would get up in the middle of the night out of habit, checking on my mom. And I would walk halfway to her room and I realized she's not there. And after my mom passed, that side of the house, I couldn't even go to where her room was. So I took time off work. Um, my doctors increased my depression medication. I sought counseling and um I rented off that side of the house because I was like, hey, I might as well make some money money off of it. But I honestly I rented it out to traveling nurses and then I expanded to add on Airbnb. But um I felt I still wanted to give back to the community. Um, so that's why I was looking for traveling nurses to rent them out to. And then because I just couldn't go out and do things, um, my ex-husband came into the picture. He's like, nope, he was a truck driver. So he said, you know what? You need to get out the house, get on the rig with me, and just see the world. And when he did that, that kind of opened me up to really see there is life outside of caregiving. And I love to travel, I I do, and it just ignited that fire back in me.

Speaker 10:02

Nice.

Speaker 2 10:02

Um, just that little act of kindness did that for me.

Speaker 1 10:07

And an 18-wheeler.

Speaker 2 10:09

Yes, yes. So it was like, okay, well, I don't feel like going out doing anything. Okay, well, I just hop into the back and go to bed or whatever, watch TV or something, or fix me a sandwich. But yeah, I see the East Coast.

Speaker 1 10:23

Yeah. So that anger, that depression, and being jealous, like very real emotions. Um, I get the seeing happy daughters with their mothers. I get that. Like, not that my mother had dementia, but she passed young and I don't have her, and I've not had her since I was in my 30s. Um, it's hard. It is, yeah.

Speaker 2 10:48

It is, especially the um just got off a cruise for Christmas and seeing the family. I'm I'm like, I miss that, but I'm glad that the daughter is loving on her mom now. So instead of looking at it as jealousy, I'm like, oh, I miss that, but it's nice to see that they get it, they understand how important their mother is.

Speaker 1 11:13

Yeah. So you see it more objectively now, it's not quite so painfully subjective. Yes. Yeah. So let's take a little diversion here and talk about the cruise you were just on. I'm excited to hear about that.

Speaker 2 11:27

Oh, okay. So um we did a cruise to the Bahamas, basically. Um, but Christmas is not the same for me anymore. My grandmother's gone and my mother's gone.

Speaker 11:39

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:39

And I've started a new life in a new city, and I have a new bow. And I was like, I did not want to spend Christmas wallowing it or just it's different. I'm in a new city. So I was like, why don't we do something different? Let's do this grand adventure and just go on a cruise. So that's how we spent Christmas on a cruise ship. Yeah. In another country. So it's it was really nice. And seeing the Christmas decorations, it was a great getaway.

Speaker 1 12:11

Oh, that's very positive.

Speaker 2 12:14

Yes.

Speaker 1 12:15

Yeah, holidays are very difficult. Yes. Because your mom's not there, and you said your grandma's not there anymore either. So all the family traditions that you had surrounding Christmas, it's good that you were able to seek a different way to start maybe a new tradition or just to have a a kickstart for the following uh Christmases.

Speaker 2 12:38

Yes, fingers crossed on a new tradition. Because Thanksgiving, we spend it with his family. So yeah.

Speaker 1 12:46

Yeah. Um, so now let's get back to the transition of going from active caregiving to life after caregiving. So you'd shared some of the emotions and and the triggers uh that made it difficult. You know, you recognize that you you're having these difficulties and you stepped away for Christmas because you knew that would be difficult for you. Um, what other ways are you embracing moving forward?

Speaker 2 13:13

Well, I had to take a step back and try to figure out what is sharing. I had to find out the new me instead of me being my mother's caregiver and people calling and saying, Oh, hey, how's your mom doing? type thing. It's how are you? And I wanted to honor my mom and make her known to people. So when my mother was in her later stage, me being a part of a caregiver network, I learned about Alzheimer's Association advocacy. So I went full swing in it. Instead of just doing a little bit here and there, I actually went to DC to advocate. In North Carolina, I went to the state capitol, I went to Raleigh to advocate there. Um since I moved up to Philly, I am planning on going to Harrisburg this year in April to advocate for the citizens of Pennsylvania with the state legislation. So I was doing cards for Congress, very active, going to our local representatives when they came to town and talk about Alzheimer's and pushing to advocate for certain bills to get passed and certain fundings. Um, there was a caregiver group that I've joined when I was in North Carolina that introduced me to being a community educator for the Alzheimer's Association. It's a volunteer position. So I did a few there and did a webinar training in North Carolina. It was three classes done over three weekends to help caregivers. Now that I'm up here in Philly, of course, I have to build new networks and start over, but I'm with the Alzheimer's Association up here. Um, so I feel that I'm honoring my mother in doing that. I've also went back and worked on advancing my career instead of staying where I am. So I passed my 66. So doors have opened for me within my job. Um and I'm with a new team now, and everyone seems to be getting along great and willing to help. So I'm excited about that too. And um, they actually are starting a caregiver support group at work, at work, yes. Um, they have their first meeting on the 21st.

Speaker 1 16:00

So look at your expertise being put to use. Yes. So you are educated as a trainer with the Alzheimer's Association, so you're able to put those skills to good use. Yes. And you're not actively caregiving, but you can definitely be supporting caregivers who are your workmates.

Speaker 2 16:21

Yes, yes. And the biggest thing I feel because I do have friends that are caregivers for their parents, because once you get a certain age, it happens. So I've been a sounding board for them. Um, I had a neighbor, I have a neighbor that I offered my services because I guess I have a keen eye now, because when I see certain people in certain settings, is a simple hand holding, a certain way that they hold each other's hand, I can tell, okay, as a caregiver, let me go talk to her, tell her she's doing a good job and everything. And um I have someone that's in my complex where I am now. And I said, if you need anything, I'm right here, just knock on my door. And even if you just need a break to go take a shower or walk around the buildings, I will sit there and watch.

Speaker 1 17:14

Oh, that's beautiful. Yes, that's helping. Um, so your radar is on to scout out other caregivers because you know, you knew what you needed.

Speaker 2 17:24

Yes, and now I can be that for someone else.

Speaker 1 17:27

That is so kind. Um, I shouldn't be shocked, but you know, it takes an extra special person to say, can I step in so that you can step out for a minute? Like I think that's very kind of you.

Speaker 2 17:42

As a caregiver, I had to learn how to ask. And I realized I can't ask for something I don't know that I need. I don't know what I'm missing because I'm in it every day. I can't see. So for me being on the outside looking in, I was like, Look, I would have loved to have somebody just sit there just so I can just go walk out and breathe some fresh air, just get away, go scream, you know, take a nap. No doubt. My friend in North Carolina, she called on me and I was there. I she said, Look, I need someone to pick my dad up from daycare, and I'll pick him up and I'll say, Okay, can I go stop off in Bojangles and get you um uh I don't know if we should say Bojangles. Do y'all have a Bojangles? No, no, I my next question was, what is Bojangles? Okay, it was chicken. So I was like, I can eat chicken. I can stop off at this fast food restaurant and get you guys something to eat. Yeah. And um, if you want, she's like, no, but you can stop off at cook out and get me a milkshake. Yeah, and I did do that. I got her a milkshake and I brought her dad home to him.

Speaker 1 18:50

Nice. You're so willing to help other people, and I remember you telling me that you've also had a podcast.

Speaker 2 18:59

I did when I want to say with my mom's last year of life, I saw that you know what, I should share the story, and I also thought it was a good way for me and my mom to bind. I was going to have her be one of the people on there so they can hear the progression when my mom had her good days um type situation, because I had my siblings join, I had my best friend up join, and we just talked about different aspects of how things were different. Her grandmother had Alzheimer's, and I felt it was age-appropriate. So, me having a podcast and her talking about it, I thought it was great to compare the younger onset versus her having it in later years. And then it grew to where I ended up wanting to have the nurses that were coming to the house to talk about their perspective of certain things. I shared my mommy moments when she had her moments of lucidity and I could see the essence of my mother and not the sternness of my mother. And it just felt that someone on that podcast should be able to hear this and resonate with it and just know that they're okay with it. But I stopped once when my mother got sick, and then when she passed, I just didn't go back and pick it up again.

Speaker 1 20:44

Yeah. So the name of your podcast was All's for Mom.

Speaker 2 20:50

A-L-Z-F-O-R-M-O-M.

Speaker 1 20:52

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 20:54

And the going's theme was that I was doing it all for mom, but she had Alzheimer's, so all's for mom.

Speaker 1 21:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2 21:02

Clever.

unknown 21:03

Yes. Thank you.

Speaker 1 21:04

No, I thought that was really cool that you had a podcast. And uh it's almost like when you invited people in, they were kind of like a panel of conversationalists, um, all on the topic of your mom and Alzheimer's. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Are you considering picking it up again? No, not really.

Speaker 2 21:31

The need of me moving forward instead of backwards is why I don't want to open reopen the podcast.

Speaker 1 21:44

No, that that makes sense. You're moving forward, and with mom no longer there, you're not able to amplify her voice, and that was the whole purpose of the podcast, and and teaching people through that. So that's very understandable. That's not on in your future at this point.

Speaker 2 22:04

At this point, yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 22:06

Yeah. So what other things like you're trained as an educator, your work is doing caregiver supports now or getting a group going. You've got your radar on for who's a caregiver and who you can help. You told me at the beginning that you had been doing some reflecting. Can you share what that looks like? What you found?

Speaker 2 22:30

Yes, I am amazed at how much I've grown these past four years. Um going from being this angry, jealous person to someone that's willing to reach out. And just it amazes me because when I sit back and I look over certain things, I realize I do have something to contribute. At first I thought, okay, mom passed, so I'm done. I'm done with caregiving. I'm done with everything. But yet I realized from my experience, I have better empathy or understanding of the struggle. And it's just, oh, you don't know about this resource, or you really didn't have time to find the resource. So, hey, let me let you know about this, and I can help in whatever capacity because technically I have a lot of free time now because I'm not a 24-7 caregiver. And I've made it known to the family that I like learning who Sharon is on this journey these past four years. So, no, I'm not going back down that path. So, you all need to make sure you're healthy and stay healthy.

Speaker 1 23:57

Yes. Sharon, I'd like to comment on what you said about 24-7 caregiving. You're so used to that ritual or that regimen of always being on, giving, giving, giving, and never for you or seldom for you. And then you said you've got all this time on your hands now because you're used to that pace. You're used to giving, giving, giving, and always doing. Yes.

Speaker 2 24:27

I can provide the resources to you and let you know what's available simply because I'm no longer a 24-7 caregiver. And I still make time for myself. I get my nails done and I get my facials.

Speaker 1 24:41

So well, that is good. Did you do that though when you were caregiving?

Speaker 2 24:45

No.

Speaker 1 24:46

No. No.

Speaker 2 24:49

That was a treat. And it was like for me to go on a vacation, I had to plan someone to watch my mom to take care. I had to make sure nurses were lined up. Um, I had to make sure I had enough funds for them to pay them, as well as have enough funds for me to enjoy myself when I went on my vacation. So it was very laborous just to get a week off doing that. And granted, if I had to do it all over again, I would. But knowing then what I know now, I would have been able to reach out for community support instead of doing everything on my own. But because it was just me, I didn't know that. So that's something that I saw that was missing. And now that I have all this free time, I like to share that information.

unknown 25:47

Yeah.

Speaker 2 25:47

I like sharing, do you know these resources? And if you tell me I don't have time, I was like, okay, well then just let me sit with him for a little bit, or let me sit with her for a little bit, just so you can just fill out the forms to get the assistance you need.

Speaker 1 26:03

Yeah. Yeah. You have such a heightened awareness now of what they need. Yes, that you've got a compassion and an empathy, which is refreshing. Yes. You don't want to sit there and stagnate. You want to use all of this newly learned empathy, this newly learned compassion. You want to apply it and move it forward.

Speaker 2 26:26

And it's because I've always been go, go, go, go, go. So that's something that didn't slow down with me. Um and I'm just using that energy more positively.

Speaker 1 26:42

To help others. Yes. When you look back on everything you went through through your caregiving, does it feel worthwhile?

Speaker 2 26:52

It does because I feel like I had to go through that in order for me to be able to communicate to others, hey, I've been there. I know what you're talking about. I'm just not giving you lip service. And this is why I do what I'm doing. I'm I'm coming from a genuine place here. Um, it is funny because my cousin's wife called me all the way from California asking for advice and some help. And I gave her some resources and opinions, and she actually followed through with them and gave me the follow-up with that and said, You were on point with that. And that made me feel good because I was just initially like, I'm giving you the information. I mean, you're all the way in California, it's not like I can come help you or anything. And it just made me feel good that she valued me enough to even reach out to me to ask, and then she followed through with it. And the result that I told her she was going to get was a result she got. So I felt validated.

Speaker 1 28:02

I was gonna say that is so validating. That's awesome. And affirming. Yes, it is. So you've helped her. Yes, just like my friend in North Carolina. So I like that you said this is not just lip service. Yes. I know what I'm talking about. Yes, I lived it. You lived it and you're applying it and paying it forward, shall we say? Yes, I am. So, how did you work through the grief and the anger? Like you did mention counseling. Uh, do you want to talk a little bit more about that?

Speaker 2 28:41

Okay, so online counseling. I pretty much put everything out there. She told me to write down, keep like a diary, journal my thoughts, and then she helped me retrain my thoughts to look at things differently from a different perspective. She also allowed me to vent and then come back and think, do you feel better from that? Yes. Okay, so now that you feel better, what are you gonna do next? Now that we've gotten that out. Um, so it was great talking it out, reorganizing my thoughts, and looking at things from a different perspective. Um, she did talk to me about the stages of grief and how to navigate through it. She also connected me with the grief support group. Um, called the Alzheimer's Association, and they connected me with another grief support group. I guess I am a little bit extra. I use more than one resource for things.

Speaker 1 29:40

Oh, I see, I see. Yeah.

Speaker 2 29:41

Yes, yes. So um I did use the one that my therapist recommended and the one that the Alzheimer's Association recommended until I felt comfortable, and then I just went with the one. Um, that one, it was who my therapist recommended simply because they were more of my age group. And then with the Alzheimer's Association, that support group, they were older, they were great. Don't get me wrong, but they just weren't my age group. And um when that session ended, I didn't have any connections with them, like phone numbers and let's keep in touch. But with the one with my therapist group, I did.

Speaker 1 30:21

Well, that's a very valid point because when we find a support group, it has to fit and we have to feel that we belong, and to have those phone numbers and to be able to continue those relationships that you built and trusted when you're in that um younger set of the support group. That speaks volumes. So I think that's a valid takeaway that um you said, what was the word you said? Um you're extra, you you like all the extras, you your belts and suspenders, you want, you know, to do to take whatever is offered. But that's not a bad thing, as long as you're not taking away from somebody else who may need it. But I don't think you were. Um, but that's not a bad thing. And through doing that, you were able to find the one that really worked best for you. Yes.

Speaker 2 31:12

Yes, I was.

Speaker 1 31:15

I want to circle back to when you mentioned the 66 that you passed. Could you explain what exactly the 66 is and what it relates to? Because the listeners might not be familiar with what that is.

Speaker 2 31:29

Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, so it's a licensure to be an investment advisor representative. I work in finance. So there are certain licensures that you would need for certain roles and certain positions within the company. When my mother was living, my goal was to become a financial advisor because I wanted that those that were in a lower income to middle income class, I wanted to reach out to them so they wouldn't have the same go through the same struggles my mom did. My mother worked for a company for 25 years. She put money in a 401k, but she didn't invest it. She had it sitting in a stable fund, which was code for cash, money market. Oh, yes. And then she had a life insurance policy through the job that had a long-term care insurance writer. So she didn't understand that when I needed a cash on that for her adult daycare, I was only getting $52 a month because she took loans against it. And I just feel that educating finances wasn't taught much about in the African-American community. And I wanted to bring that out in the open. I felt from my mother's experience, if she had that when she was younger and contributing when she was working, that at the time of her retirement, she would have been in a better place. She would have known the difference between a long-term care insurance writer versus having long-term care insurance outright. And the difference between having insurance with her work versus having her own separate term life insurance, as well as where to invest her funds in her 401k plan and how much she should invest, as well as budget and understand about savings and spending.

Speaker 1 33:59

And some of what you're sharing, I think, is really helpful for all of us to hear.

Speaker 2 34:04

Yes, and where I'm working now, because um me passing the series 66, it opened me into sales and where I can talk about financial services and advice, and just in general, I can talk more freely on that matter to make sure you're lined up with the proper representative that can sell advice or eventually become an investment advisor myself. I um learned it's not just the African-American community, it's all communities that it's not a discussion. So my eyes were opened to that. I was shocked that there are a lot of communities that do not know.

Speaker 34:49

No.

Speaker 2 34:50

So now I'm living to just make sure that no one saying that no one experienced what I experienced, but that they know that there's someone out there that can help you navigate the waters. And hopefully my mama's proud.

Speaker 1 35:07

Oh, I'm sure she is.

Speaker 2 35:10

With legislations that have changed, the good thing for those that have 401ks, or I mean, well, employer-sponsored plans, they have information out there, the employers do, um, and the investments firm for them. So fortunately, if you choose to put your money in cash, it's simply because you didn't attend any webinars, you didn't go to your employee benefits conversations or anything like that. So that's one thing that was great because back when my mom first started, they didn't have that. They didn't even tell you, hey, you gotta contribute to a 401k plan. You know, it wasn't a discussion.

Speaker 1 35:54

Yeah. No, I I just think again, we're raising awareness to something that folks might not naturally think about or instantly think about. But then when you're caregiving, you usually have a lot more going on.

unknown 36:08

Yes.

Speaker 1 36:09

That you don't have time to think about finances until until afterwards, and then you can look back. Yes. It's sad that your mother's investments weren't what you now know they could have been. Right. Yeah. But that's many of us if we don't know.

Speaker 2 36:26

And that is exactly why I ended up working in finance because that was my mission. I was like, oh, that's my purpose in life. Um, but I could not pass the series 66 when my mother was living, but I got it after she passed. So congratulations. Now I'm excited. Thank you. That's right. I'm really excited about where I can go, where I feel like I'm one step closer to satisfying that goal.

Speaker 1 36:51

I also believe that you have another purpose, and that's helping caregivers. And that's part of your moving forward, is you found new purpose in in your career. You found new purpose in just finding those caregivers that need extra help from Sharon.

Speaker 2 37:05

Like, and who's to say that what I'm learning in this new role, I can use that to branch out and be a caregiver consultant for I mean, for a career choice, where I'm like, hey, I started my own business doing that.

Speaker 1 37:20

So well, it happens. I started my own business. Yes, yeah. So when caregiving ended for you, did you face any overwhelming struggles other than your emotions? Like, did you you've mentioned your identity? You you had to find out who Sharon was again, but were there any other struggles that you faced?

Speaker 2 37:42

I struggled a lot with my religion. I did. Um me and God had some pretty, well, I had some pretty angry conversations with God. He just listened. But I mean, I didn't give up with my faith because I did say, God, if this is where you want my mom to be, I didn't want her to suffer because my best friend's grandmother lost the ability to swallow and it was really bad. My mom was pocketing saliva in her mouth when she was sleeping. So that's when I said the prayer to God, too. I was like, I wanted him to fix her, but he didn't. Um, I just wanted my mom to be able to remember to swallow because I didn't want her to choke on her own saliva, and I'm sleeping in the next room, and I walk in there and you know, so I didn't want that. Um so that was a big struggle, was like, why I couldn't get I I got the prayer that I asked for, but it wasn't the answer I wanted. But I keep telling myself he loved her more, my mother's whole, and I'm going to see her again. I'm going to stay on the straight and narrow, and we will see each other again. I mean, it may seem like forever right now, but it'll really be a blink of an eye when we put things in perspective.

Speaker 1 39:04

Yeah. I agree with that. And thank you for your candor in saying that you were angry with God. But it's really encouraging that you held on to your relationship with him.

Speaker 2 39:17

Well, I did. Yeah, because he gave me grace. I I I'm thankful that he allowed me to be angry with them. And that's, you know.

Speaker 1 39:26

Yeah. Yeah. So that is grace. That's exactly what it is. So you've mentioned empathy, compassion, grace. These are all very positive takeaways from your caregiving journey. Yes. So, Sharon, as you reflected and you've shared so much already, I'm just wondering if there were any practical tips when you were caregiving with your mom that you could share with the listeners.

Speaker 2 39:52

Yes, my mother was in the medical field. She was a medical office assistant and a unit secretary for a hospital. So she gave us her advanced directives, her final wishes. I'm so thankful that she did that simply because that made my job as a caregiver easier. It took some guilt and some stress away from me because I knew what she wanted. I knew she didn't want to be intubated. I knew if she wanted her organs donated and how she wanted her end of life to be. So I am forever grateful that my mother did that and took it away from me. And my siblings knew about it. So there wasn't any strife at all. We were all on one accord at that time.

Speaker 1 40:38

Well, thank you for sharing that. I that is a very practical tip. Um, as you know, I worked as a social worker, and it was really important for me to help make sure that folks had their advanced care plans in place, and uh yeah, so I'm really glad that you were able to do that with your mom.

Speaker 2 40:54

Yes, thank you.

Speaker 1 40:57

So moving forward, you like to travel now, you've got your career well on the way. Um where do you see the next few years for you?

Speaker 2 41:09

Um the next few years from here, I well, if I win the lottery, I see myself retired. But no, I am actually excited about where life is going here for me because I pretty much moved out of North Carolina, came to Pennsylvania. I feel like I've reconstructed sharing. I know who I am now, and I'm just excited with whatever comes my way. I feel like this is a new path that I'm excited to walk into. I would love to continue my advocacy and doing some community work. I even reached out to um one of the people that I volunteer for, and I was like, hey, just so you know, if I decide to retire early, you know I want to apply and work here with you all because I love the caregiver community. I love it. And I'm glad that I'm a part of it and I can help in any shape or form or fashion.

Speaker 1 42:15

That's beautiful. And a great way to end. Um Do you have a way that folks can reach you?

Speaker 2 42:23

Yes, you can reach me by email at allformom at gmail.com.

Speaker 1 42:30

Thanks, Sharon.

Speaker 2 42:31

You're welcome.

Speaker 1 42:32

Do you have a quote you'd like to share?

Speaker 2 42:35

Yes, my mother's favorite quote. Something she told me growing up from being knee high to a grasshopper until she left this great earth. Nothing beats a failure but a try. So that's what I live by.

Speaker 1 42:49

Nothing beats a failure but a try. Yes. Beautiful. I love quotes like that. Me too. So we'll both take that forward. And I want to thank you so much for being with me today. It's been a pleasure. Take care. As we wrap up today's conversation, I'm appreciative of how honestly Sharon shared the reality of her life after caregiving. The parts we don't always talk about. The anger, depression, jealousy, and heaviness that settled in after her mom died. The time she needed to step back from work, to seek online counseling, and to simply find her footing again. And then came that unexpected turning point where she ventured into life in the rig with her ex. Unconventional, surprising, and somewhat carefree, but exactly what she needed to shake something loose and help her start moving forward. Because from that moment on, Sharon began building a life that That's fully her own. She moved, started a new job, found a new relationship, and discovered the new Sharon. One of the most powerful pieces of her new chapter is the way she used her experience to help others. Seeing how unprepared her mom was with finances and investing, Sharon is now a financial consultant. She's determined to support people who may not be well versed in money matters, including caregivers who have put their own financial planning on hold. Today she's not just living, she's giving back in ways that honor her mom. She advocates for caregivers, educates through training opportunities, and acts as a steady sounding board for friends who are walking the path she once walked. Sharon has a keen eye, noticing caregivers in the world the way only someone who's been there can. And she gently guides them toward community supports and resources. She has successfully carved out her new path. And she's reconstructed her life piece by piece. Sharon's story is a powerful example of what life after caregiving can be, and the courageous steps she took to achieve it. Thank you for sharing your story, Sharon, and thank you for tuning in today. If you enjoyed today's episode, share it with friends, especially those navigating life after caregiving. And if you don't want to miss future episodes, be sure to subscribe to the Island Treasures Podcast. See you next episode!